Trust
by flyersgirl12
Summary: my first attempt at Mentalist fiction. Lisbon has trust issues with Jane but will she trust him to help her after she gets hurt. rated for violence
1. Prelude

"You're untrustworthy. It's my job not to trust you." Lisbon's words circled through Jane's mind. He really was disappointed that she didn't trust him. Sure she obviously trusted him not to let her crash into the ground during the trust fall he insisted she do but he knew that she was holding back. He did play mind games but most of the time it was on suspects to get to the truth and the other times were just for fun, a little showboating in front of the team. He never wanted to hurt anyone on the team and if he lied once in awhile, it was to help solve a case. Lisbon's words sank deeply in his mind though and he wondered if trust was the price he was paying for utilizing his particular skills.

"Van Pelt?" Jane slowly opened his eyes while still reclining on the office couch.

"Yeah" She responded refusing to look up from her computer screen in case she were to miss some clue in the file she was reviewing.

"Do you trust me?" Jane was curious if this was unique to Lisbon or if there was an epidemic of distrust running through the office.

"Sure" Van Pelt responded, still distracted by her work.

"Grace" Jane sat up, "do you really trust me?" He drew out his question.

Van Pelt paused, looking up to see a hopeful Patrick Jane awaiting her honest response. She considered his question for a moment. She didn't trust some of his antics but if her life was in danger or if she ever really needed something she did indeed trust him. "Yes I do."

"Good." Jane closed his eyes again and leaned back enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun shining through the window above the couch.

Lisbon sat at her desk staring at the mountain of paper work awaiting completion. She knew she should be working on them but she couldn't shake the feeling of guilt in the pit of her stomach. The look on Jane's face when he found out she didn't trust him, broke her heart. If she were completely honest with herself, Jane was the last person on earth she wanted to hurt or disappoint. She didn't understand why, after all Patrick Jane did have a knack for getting on her last nerve. Still though, she cared deeply for the man and did not ever want to see him hurt.

Regardless of her feelings, she couldn't change the fact that she was leery of the master manipulator. She never knew when he was being honest and when he was playing an angle to gain the upper hand.

She hated feeling this way, but she didn't know if anything would change that.

Finally pushing her thoughts aside, Lisbon dived into the stack of reports waiting patiently on her desk. She wasn't five minutes into her work when she heard a knock at her door. "Come in Jane." She didn't even have to look up to know who it was.

Jane smiled brightly as he entered the office. It never stopped amazing him that she had this unique ability to know exactly when he was around.

"What do you want?" Lisbon still refused to look up.

"You to trust me," Jane's smiled beamed as he leaned over Lisbon's desk.

"You're still on that? I thought we went over this already." Lisbon looked up, hoping that Jane would attribute her annoyance to the fact that she had work to do and they already had this conversation. She didn't want to give him the slightest hint that she was frustrated with herself and feeling a little guilty.

"I can't help I don't trust you. Maybe one day I will, just not today." Lisbon tried to get back to her work. She hoped that her pseudo promise of future trust would curve any disappointment in Jane.

"I meant what I said earlier." Jane sat in the chair across the desk.

"I know" Lisbon was still shuffling files

"No you don't. Look at me Teresa"

Lisbon met his gaze and could see his eyes pleading with her to understand. "No matter what happens I will be there for you." Jane stated again, willing her to understand.

"I believe you," She wasn't really sure if she did in face but he did seem sincere enough and rather than push the topic she wanted an easy way to get him out of her hair.

"Thank you" Jane replied as he got up and left.


	2. Waking to a Nightmare

**AN: Thanks everyone for reading. I hope you enjoy this, as I mentioned this is my first Mentalist fanfic, I usually write scifi and this is my second attempt at drama. **

It was well into the night before Lisbon finally unlocked the door to her third floor apartment and lugged her tired bones and a bag of take out inside. Not in the mood to check the messages on her answering machine, she moved through her hallway sluggishly to the dining room. As she placed the carton of Lo Mein on her kitchen table she noticed the door to her balcony was unlocked.

She was a little surprised by this but figured she just forgot to lock it the other night when she came in after enjoying a rare glass of wine and the warm evening breeze. Lisbon set down the small container of fried rice she had pulled out of the nondescript paper bag and went over to lock the door. Looking out of the window, she didn't see anything suspiciously out of place and she had been a little absent minded lately thanks to the stress from work, so she decided not to worry about it and went to the bed room to change.

Lisbon pulled a ball of clothes out of her dresser. She was always by the book and exact at work but at home she didn't have the patience for domestic chores. She was lucky she had the time to do wash let alone actually fold it into anything but the balls of fabric that occasionally made it difficult to open her drawers. Her evening attire was somewhat plain, she thought as she placed the garments on her bed. She didn't really care though, her black pajama pants and teal tank top were exceedingly more comfortable then her work clothes.

As she undressed Lisbon suddenly became very aware of just how tired she actually felt. She needed to relax her muscles and mind so she decided a hot bath was in order. The food would be easy enough to reheat when she was done.

Teresa had the hot water on as high as it would go and slipped into the warm embrace of her vanilla scented bubble bath. She quickly felt the tension slip from her body and mind as she tried her best not to think about work. It seemed she was successful as her mind drifted from one random thought to the next until finally consciousness faded and Lisbon fell into a comfortable slumber.

She didn't dream, or at least she didn't remember any as she slowly awoke thanks to the cooling water. Her mind was still fuzzy as she began to open her eyes. The warm comfortable feeling was quickly replaced though by surprise then terror as she saw a large figure looming above her. The person was completely dressed in black with a large hood that cast a shadow making it difficult to distinguish his features.

"Damn it!" Lisbon silently cursed herself for not realizing earlier that something was wrong. Before she had the opportunity to physically react, she felt a sharp prick in her arm followed by a slight burning sensation that began to spread down her arm and through her body.

Despite the injection, Lisbon's fear was quickly replaced with anger and determination. She was not going to be a victim; she was going to first get to her gun then call for help. Her plan was quickly changed however when the intruder held up her weapon as if to taunt her. Lisbon lunged from the tub and managed to wrestle the gun from her assailant. Grabbing a towel to wrap around herself, she aimed the gun. The cloaked man simply laughed as he got up and moved toward her. Lisbon pulled the trigger only to feel dread rise in her stomach as there were no bullets.

All of Lisbon's police training was replaced by the instinct to run and she willingly complied. She had made it down her hallway to the living room before she really began to feel the effects of what ever it was she had been injected with. The room began to spin and Lisbon's vision blurred. She was so close to the front door. If she could just make it out maybe she could make enough noise to attract the attention of her neighbors. Lisbon was in trouble though, her muscles began to fail and her body was no longer responding. She fell roughly to the floor. To her surprise though, she did not lose consciousness. She was fully aware of what was happening to her but unable to move a muscle to fight back. She tried to calm her mind to think of a plan of escape however the terror was too much and Lisbon panicked as the intruder, now in pair of grey slacks, white shirt, and grey vest, picked her and a back pack up and carried her out of her apartment.

As her captor carried Lisbon down the hall to the stairs a neighbor was also leaving. There was a glimmer of hope and Lisbon prayed that he would have enough sense to intervene. The neighbor approached the pair and Lisbon was finally feeling a little relief. He would surely think something was up.

"Is she ok?" The neighbor asked.

The intruder simply nodded affirmatively and kept walking. Lisbon couldn't believe that her neighbor didn't stop her assailant. There was nothing she could do though and fear once again took over.


	3. Lisbon is Missing

**A/N: Thank you so much everyone who has submitted reviews so far. I'm not quite sure how to actually respond to them on this system so I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. Also thank you to everyone who favorited this or put it on their story alert. I hope you enjoy the next chapter. **

Like many of his nights, Jane spent the evening sleeping on the office couch. There was something comforting about staying in the place his friends spent most of their days. Even if there was no one there at night, it was much better than going home. He had considered selling his house but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Part of it was a need to keep a connection with his family but more than that, Jane felt he deserved the constant reminder of the violence committed against him. He deserved to suffer the results of his arrogance every time he entered the house. At least that's how he used to feel. Since joining the CBI however, his perspective began to shift. Sure he still wanted revenge on Red John and he blamed himself for his family's deaths but he now saw a purpose in his work. Maybe by helping victims of other crimes and seeing that justice is done, he could find forgiveness.

Jane, at one time in his life was not a morning person. His schedule used to require filming late into the evening so with the exception of the random early talk show appearance; he avoided anything before ten in the morning. He still was occasionally late, some habits are hard to break, but now he especially enjoyed waking early in the office and observing his friends' morning rituals. Lisbon was his favorite to watch if for no other reason then the fact that she simply fascinated him. When it came to work she was strict but dedicated, usually arriving first and already working long before the rest of the team arrived. She also had another far more fun side which he was able to pull out of her on rare occasions.

Jane laid comfortably across the couch with his eyes only slightly open, he wanted to appear asleep, that way no one's, especially Lisbon's, morning activities would change due to him observing them.

Seven rolled around and the sun was letting in the first golden rays of the day. Lisbon was usually in by now if there was work she needed to catch up on but Jane suspected that after last night, she wouldn't be in till much later. Regardless he waited a half hour or so before he fell back asleep.

"Jane!" Patrick opened his heavy eyelids to see Van Pelt standing above him.

"Good morning" He stretched.

"Have you heard from Lisbon?" She cut right to the chase.

Jane's smile quickly faded as he got up and made his way to her office. Peering in, he could see that nothing had been disturbed, she hadn't been in yet.

"No, she hasn't called in?" He finally responded to Van Pelt.

"No and no one else has heard from her either."

Jane abruptly walked past Van Pelt and made his way to the elevators.

"Where are you going?" She called after him.

"Lisbon's apartment."

"I'm going with you." She set down the file she had been carrying and chased after him.

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Consciousness slowly returned to Lisbon. She first was aware of sitting on a cool wet surface. Her arms were secured above her head and her back was against a cement wall. When she was finally able to will her eyes open, she could see who ever had taken her had dressed her in the clothes she had left out on her bed the night before. Her observations were short lived however as a rush of severe pain flooded her head, forcing her eyes to shut and her muscles to cramp. It was so intense that she was on the verge of vomiting.

"Ok, Teresa, don't panic open your eyes and try to look around again. Get as much information as you can." Lisbon calmed herself before she tentatively opened her eyes again.

"Arms are tied, rest of me looks alright." She first focused on herself.

"One light source, no windows, one door, no visible air vents, and a table in the corner." She took in the room around her. If she was going to escape she needed to take advantage of both her surroundings and any opportunities offered by her captor.

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Jane and Van Pelt reached Lisbon's building in record time. The car ride was for the most part silent. Jane tried once to reassure her that everything was probably fine and Lisbon had just over slept but they both knew that was a lie.

Getting into the apartment was easier than expected. After several unanswered knocks Jane tried the knob. To both of their surprise the door opened easily which was not a good sign.

The apartment didn't appear to have been broken into. With the exception of a few items on the floor of the living room, the residence was neat. There was something off though; Jane suspected it when he saw Lisbon's uneaten Chinese food sitting on the table. His suspicions were confirmed when they reached the bathroom and were greeted with a still full tub of cold, soapy, bath water.

"We better call the team" Van Pelt fought to keep the panic out of her voice.

"Hello." Jane bent down and retrieved a syringe that was hiding between the tub and toilet. Careful not to get his own prints on it, he used a tissue to retrieve the instrument.

"You better call them" He held the syringe up to Van Pelt.

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Some time had passed since Lisbon first woke up when she heard the door creak open. The same figure from the night before entered. Lisbon couldn't help but note the familiarity of the man's clothes, his grey three piece suit eerily reminded her of a certain consultant.

"What do you want?" Anger filled her voice.

"I'm a CBI agent." She spoke again after not receiving a response.

"I know who you were." Lisbon thought he had misspoken. She prayed he had.

"Then you know you're breaking the law by keep me here." She tried to sound as forceful as possible.

"That doesn't matter."

"What do you want?" She demanded again.

"To experiment." He replied before slapping her across the face.


	4. A Lead?

**A/N: Thank you again everyone for your reviews and support. As soon as I figure out how to respond to them, I will :) This chapter has some violence and hints of gore so be warned. **

"CBI!" Rigsby called out as he knocked on Lisbon's neighbor's door. The whole team had assembled within minutes of receiving Van Pelt's call. He, Jane, and Cho quickly began questioning neighbors while Van Pelt and two other detectives remained in Lisbon's apartment.

After a few moments without a response Rigsby and Jane began to walk away when they heard a crash echoing through the apartment. Jane stood back as Rigsby drew his weapon and smashed through the front door just in time to see the tenant climbing down the fire escape.

"Cho!" Rigsby yelled as he ran for the stairs.

The two agents chased after the suspect following him for two blocks before finally tackling him to the ground.

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"James Carson, 25, grew up in Palo Alto, no priors. So you want to tell me why you ran?" Cho tossed the file on the table in front of the suspect before sitting down.

"I don't know." James seemed a little skittish, looking in every direction but Cho's.

"Have you seen your neighbor, Teresa Lisbon, in the last 24 hours?" Cho continued.

"I don't know….. uh no." He was growing even more uncomfortable with the questioning and was trying to find an easy out.

"Which is it, you don't know or no?" Cho hid his emotions well but given the situation, he fought to remain cool given the current circumstances.

"I didn't see anything ok?"

"You're lying."

"I haven't seen anyone!" James was sounding particularly defensive.

"This is all wrong, he's hiding something." Jane turned to Rigsby in the observation room.

"Guilty people tend to be secretive Jane." Rigsby sounded more sarcastic than he intended.

Jane simply smiled. It wasn't one of his brilliant grins but more of a knowing half smile he reserved for observing human behavior. "Look at his body language. He refuses to make eye contact, his shoulders are hunched and he's sweating. He's afraid, not the type of fear of someone worried about being caught, no it's more primal than that."

"Can you get him to talk?" Rigsby glared through the two way mirror.

"Of course," Jane smiled again as he left the room.

"Cho, mind if I?" Jane quietly entered the room.

"Go ahead" He folded his arms and leaned back in the chair.

"He James, my name's Patrick." He offered the suspect an enchantingly disarming smile and his hand.

James eyed him suspiciously but reached out to shake his hand none the less. Before he could connect however, Jane gently grabbed his wrist with his left hand and spoke quickly but softly. "I know you're scared of someone but you will be safe if you tell the truth."

James remained motionless, allowing Jane to keep hold of his wrist as he sat down beside him.

"Have you seen your neighbor James?"

"Yes" Jane was using Carson's pulse and a natural lie detector and could tell he was being truthful.

"When?"

"Last night."

"What happened?." Jane could feel Carson's pulse jump in speed at the question.

"Nothing." He lied.

"It's ok just breathe deeply and relax"

"Yeah I saw her last night and she didn't look good. She was being carried out of her apartment by some guy."

"What happened next?"

"I asked the guy if she was ok, he just nodded. There was something about him that just didn't seem right. He scared me. So I thought I would wait until he got down the stairs before I called the cops."

"Why didn't you call them?"

"I was going to" Fear filled Carson's voice as his heart rate sky rocketed.

"Relax" Jane kept his voice exceedingly soft. He got James talking and he wasn't going to have him shut down now.

"I ran in my apartment to find my phone and I forgot to lock the door. The guy came back with a machete. He must have had it in his car or something. He said if I told anyone he would find me and dissect me. I looked into his eyes and I knew he meant it…..You got to protect me!"

"We will" Jane calmly assured. "Can you describe what he looked like?"

"I don't know."

"Just take your time. Start with what he was wearing."

"Grey. He was wearing a grey vest and pants."

"What else?"

"He had blond hair." James paused and tried to pull away from Jane. "He looked like you."

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Lisbon must have lost consciousness again as she found herself trying to wake and in a great deal of pain. This time she had difficulty making sense of anything. All she knew was that the room was spinning and she couldn't open her right eye. The offending eye was black and purple matching the bruises on her jaw and shoulders. Her brain felt cloudy and the one eye she could see out of was blurred. She wasn't even sure where she was as a chunk of her memory seemed to be missing.

"Good morning." A voice coming from her left whispered.

Lisbon could make out a blond figure in grey and white. "Jane?"

"Yes Lisbon, it's me." She couldn't see his smirk.

"What's going on? Get me out of here." Her speech was slightly slurred.

"You know, I'm a little sick of your constant whining." He cruelly commented as he took a knife to her calf, slicing it enough to draw blood but not too deep as to cause mortal injury.

She let out scream as she felt her eyes sting with fresh tears. "Please let me go."

"How pathetic." He commented as he retrieved a syringe from the table in the corner.

"Here, this will make you feel better." He said as he injected her with another drug that dulled her senses even more.

She didn't lose consciousness completely this time instead she had the pleasure of vivid and violent hallucinations and a horrific feeling like her brain was on fire.

"Someone help me." She quietly cried.


	5. A Clue

"Where do we go from here?" Cho asked.

The other two men on the team had no answer for him. They simply stood in silence trying to make sense of what was revealed in the interview.

"Test results are back on the syringe." Van Pelt hung up her phone, lightening the oppressive mood if only a tiny bit.

"What did it say?" Rigsby spoke first.

"The lab found trace amounts of a paralytic called, Tetrodotoxin"

"Puffer fish poison?" Jane interjected.

"What?" Cho heard, poison, and he was no longer able to keep his calm demeanor.

"It's a particularly nasty poison that causes death in large amounts. In small amounts it's used in some cultures to simulate death. It's a key ingredient in zombie potions." The rest of the team stared at Jane, still trying to process the fact that Lisbon had most likely been a victim of the substance.

"The lab said that it had been chemically modified, it wouldn't have killed her." Van Pelt heard a communal sigh of relief. "They also said there is only one company working with this poison in the area. It's a lab called Bio-sci Technologies."

"All right, Grace you stay here and see what you can dig up about them, Cho, Jane, let's pay Bio-sci a visit," To everyone's surprise, Rigsby took immediate control of the situation. Of course Van Pelt was left behind and the rest of the team was sure that he spoke up first to ensure that she wasn't involved in field work. Rigsby knew she was a competent and in fact talented agent but given the abduction of Lisbon, he just couldn't risk losing her if things went south at the lab. He was being over protective and some what ridiculous but he couldn't help it. Van Pelt herself was a bit annoyed but given the gravity of the situation and the fact that every second counted, she didn't put up and argument.

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Jane and Cho had never seen Rigsby drive as fast as what they were experiencing now. The three men remained quiet during the fifteen minute drive that should have taken a half hour. They were well aware of the fact that the longer it took them to find Lisbon, the less of a chance they had of actually finding her alive.

The silence was shattered with the ring tone of Jane's phone. "What do you got, Van Pelt?" He turned on the speaker phone.

"I looked into the company's records and it seems they have an employee who has gone missing in the last month, a Dr. Jay Saunders."

"Any report of missing drugs?" Jane asked.

"I couldn't find any."

"Thanks Van Pelt, call us if you find anything else" Jane ended the call as they pulled into Bio-sci Tech's parking lot.

The guards at the front door stepped aside the moment the CBI badges were flashed. Someone must have signaled the authorities though because the team was greeted the moment they walked through the frosted glass doors. The interior of the main lobby was an immense cavern of glass and metal with wood accents that made for a chilly atrium that dwarfed the petite twenty something who was waiting. She was most likely a public relations specialist Jane thought.

"Hello, my name is Ashley Barber, community liaison for Bio-sci Technologies." She offered a perky smile.

"CBI miss, I'm Agent Cho, this is Agent Rigsby, and Patrick Jane. We need to speak with whoever's in charge."

"Right this way. I'm afraid Dr. Wells is unavailable right now but let me show you our facilities." Ashley smiled as she led the team down a long windowed hall and through two large doors into an observation area over looking one of the labs. "As you can see Bio-sci is at the fore front of cutting edge medical research."

"What are they making?" Rigsby inquired.

"This lab is working on a new pain medication for burn victims."

"Do they use Tetrodotoxin?" Cho asked.

"I'm sorry but the chemical compounds used in our experimental medications are strictly confidential." Ashley remained very pleasant but Jane could tell from her body language that Cho was correct.

"Miss, this is a criminal investigation and any attempt to cover up evidence will land you in-" Cho was cut off by Jane who stepped between he and Ashley.

"Ashley, I know you're a good person and I can also tell that with all of that cheerfulness you're trying to cover over some tragic event. Maybe you lost someone-"

"Jane!" It was his turn to be cut off.

Jane simply waved a hand behind him. "Now Ashley," The intensity of his eyes bore right into hers. She felt as though he could read her inner most thoughts and it made her extremely uncomfortable. Part of her wanted to look away, to break what ever weird connection was happening and to fight off the tears that were threatening to fall thanks to Jane stirring up old memories and yet she didn't. She was oddly captivated by this man who could see things about her that no one knew about.

"I am so sorry for your loss." His voice was barely above a whisper. "My friend is in trouble and if I don't find her, I don't think she'll live. Please can you help me find her? Let us speak with Dr. Wells." His eyes were now pleading.

"Follow me." Ashley turned, discretely brushing aside a stray tear, the remnant of a lost friend.

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Lisbon's head was swimming and all perceptions of time and place were quickly fading. She no longer had any idea how long she had been there and the only memories immediately available were those of her captor and the painful beatings. Her body was marred by bruises and cuts, all meant to cause pain but none to actually kill. There was a lot of anger in the injuries and if Lisbon was in the right frame of mind maybe she could have used that to her advantage.

"Hello Teresa,' a malicious voice whispered. The sound alone threatened to unleash a migraine.

"Jane? Please let me go." She cried keeping both eyes shut.

'No." He said plainly stated. Lisbon could feel her stomach knot up as she knew what was to come.

Another systematic beating and a round of injections left Lisbon shaking, unable to even cry. Her hope was lost, she had no idea how to escape or if she even would but worst of all Jane had betrayed her. He was always unpredictable but she never thought he would be able to commit such violence.

Any chance at rescue was severely decreased with Jane on the wrong side, Lisbon thought. He was the most brilliant mind she had ever known and he could out think, out plan, and out strategize even the most seasoned agent.

"You told me to trust. You said you would always be there." Lisbon managed to spit the words out in a husky voice. She found the strength to open her good eye, to try and make eye contact, maybe find an ounce of sympathy. Her attempt failed, her vision was shaky at best and all she got were glimpses of who she thought was Jane preparing another syringe.

"I lied," was the only response she received.

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"What can I do for the CBI?" Dr. Wells grudgingly obliged the team by agreeing to answer a few questions.

"Tell us about Dr. Saunders." Rigsby started.

"He was a brilliant chemist, went missing a few weeks ago."

"Did he have any enemies?"

"Not that I know of."

"Did the local police launch an investigation?"

"They said there was nothing suspicious and he probably had a break down and disappeared on his own."

"Why don't you tell us about his work."

"I'm sorry, that's protected information."

"Sir, any with holding of information will make you an accessory to the abduction of a CBI agent. How do you think that will look for your bottom line?" Cho and Jane were surprised. It was very rare that they witnessed Rigsby being so blunt in his questioning. That was usually left to Cho.

"All right, he was working on pain reliever for burn victims using a certain aquatic toxin." Although evading the question, Wells gave the team the answer they needed.

"That's not all, is it?" Jane inquired.

"That is all."

"No see what you did there, you're lying. Your body language betrays you. Now instead of wasting our time why don't you tell us the truth because I assure you, we will find the answers we're looking for. The question is, how ugly do you want this to play out." It was Jane's turn to press for information.

"I don't…" Wells started.

"Yes you do." Jane cut him off.

"Fine, he was working on a side project involving hallucinogens. He was using a chemical compound to manipulate memory and perception without causing permanent damage. If the trials are successful we will be gaining an extremely lucrative defense contract. The drug will aid in the interrogation of certain threats to the nation."

"What else?" Jane knew he wasn't giving the complete truth.

"When he went missing so did his work." Wells gave a frustrated sigh.

"The authorities didn't take an interest in industrial theft?"

"As you can imagine we had to be discrete about such details. The promise of a big defense contract is the only thing keeping the company solvent."

"We need as much information as you can give us about Saunders and his work." Cho insisted.

"Those files are confidential."

"We can get a court order." Cho sounded as though he was offering the suggestion as a helpful solution.

"See Tara, my assistant, she will get you the files." He relented.


	6. Hope

**A/N: Sorry about the long delay. I have been sick for the last week. I hope you enjoy and thank you so much everyone who has read and commented. **

The team was given a thick manila folder containing all documents relating to Dr. Saunders and his work and then were quickly escorted off the premises. Apparently it was decided that they had seen enough of the facility.

"We should check Saunders' house." Cho recommended as the team piled into the bureau's black SUV.

The car had been silent for about ten minutes before Van Pelt spoke. "This is horrible. The drug Saunders' is working on for the defense contract, something called TSX 342. It combines modified versions of tetrodotoxin with a deliriant called dimenhydrinate. The drug causes decreased muscular functioning, heightened fear response, hallucinations, and it increases suggestibility. Once the drug has entered the system it becomes very easy to induce specific hallucinations usually designed to cause terror. The file goes on to say that it is intended to elicit quick confessions without leaving traces after. In fact, unless doses are continuously administered, the person recovers quickly with no memory of having been drugged."

"What kind of legal use could this have?" Rigsby was equally as horrified.

"The file doesn't say agency this is for, if it is even for the government." Van Pelt was in disbelief at what she read. Since her time at CBI she has seen people do terrible things. It was usually the result of jealousy, pain, or greed but she couldn't wrap her mind around the idea of people purposely manufacturing substances that only add to human suffering.

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Lisbon awoke curled up and shivering on the cold floor. For the first time since arriving in this place her head was clear. Her memory was severely lacking but she did know she had been taken captive and was previously tied to the wall. Lisbon had no recollection of the details her time and judging by how she felt, she was grateful. She looked down for the first time noticing how ineffective her clothes were at hiding her injuries. She wasn't sure exactly what she could do but she would be damned if she wasn't going to take advantage of the situation.

Very slowly Lisbon inched her way to the wall hoping it would steady her as she got to her feet. The process took a lot longer and was far more painful than she thought it would be. Along the way Lisbon discovered her left wrist was broken along with what she suspected to be a cracked rib. She was a fighter though so gathering all of her strength, she managed to stand. Immediately Lisbon's head began to swim. She took a few deep breaths trying to stop the room from spinning.

"Alright Teresa, we can get out of this." She tried to assure herself as she began a very slow stumble toward the door.

The journey from one side of the room to the other felt like an eternity. Stumbling, staggering and all but falling due to the intense pain from multiple injuries, Lisbon made it to the door. She was fairly certain that it would be locked but she had to try, her survival could depend on it. She prepared herself for what may be on the other side, gathered her strength and pulled. To her shock, the door easily swung open. Not taking more than a second to savor the victory, she cautiously moved.

The other side of the door revealed what Lisbon guessed to be a large abandoned factory. The floor was covered with odds and ends that had been left. The ceiling was lined with large industrial windows which let in the afternoon sun. Unfortunately for Lisbon, the closest exit looked to be a good 50 yards away and windows were too high to reach. The only hope she had was to find a way to contact the outside. There was no sign of her captor so Lisbon cautiously investigated her surroundings.

Almost immediately she spotted a small table covered in an assortment of supplies. She saw a package of needles, a collection of what she assumed to be surgical tools, and a recording device. She paused, terror filling her mind. If she didn't escape she was going to die. Lisbon shakily began riffling through the materials. She spotted a scalpel and quickly slid it into the only pocket in her pajama pants. She was searching through the pile for any other useful tools when she saw it, a smooth black rectangle reflecting the light streaming in from the windows. It couldn't be, Lisbon felt a mixture of joy and absolutely terror. There was no way her captor would leave his cell phone laying around. He had to be close by so she needed to work fast.

"Damn it!" Lisbon silently cursed herself when she couldn't keep her finger from shaking, making it exceedingly difficult to dial. She managed to complete the Cho's number. She didn't bother calling 911, she knew they wouldn't find her in time; her team was her only hope.

"Hello," Cho answered, not recognizing the number.

"Cho, it's me, I need your help." Cho, visibly relieved that Lisbon was alive, put the phone on speaker.

"Where are you?" They had a thousand questions but they would have to wait.

"I don't know, but you have to get me out of here."

"What can you see around you?" Jane asked.

Lisbon paused for a second. She didn't know why but she suddenly felt ill.

"Teresa, talk to me" He urged.

"It looks like an abandoned factory. The ceiling is very high, surrounded by windows up top." She had to fight from vomiting.

"Good, what else?"

"I don't know."

"Just look around, take your time."

Lisbon looked around, desperate to find any clue. "There's nothing." Fear and panic were beginning to surge through her body. Before anything else could be said though she felt a blow to the back of her head, then everything went black.

"Lisbon!" Jane shouted at the phone, praying for a response.

"Good girl." Lisbon's assailant whispered in her ear as he picked her up and shut off his cell phone.


	7. Lost and Found

The Saunders' residence was a picturesque two story Spanish style condo. Its exterior was bright yellow stucco with a red tile roof matching the rest of the homes in the development. It was obvious that Dr. Saunders' was paid well for his research. Or so the team thought. The interior told a different story. There was very little furniture and what was there looked like it had been handed down. The team immediately noticed a small table sitting in the entry way which was littered with stacks of unopened bills.

"Well something is definitely draining his assets." Van Pelt observed.

They moved cautiously through the house, searching for any signs that someone had been there recently. The only promising clue they found was a lap top.

"Van Pelt, can you pull up Saunders' email? Maybe there's something there." Cho asked.

"Let me see." She opened to the computer to find luckily it hadn't been logged out of. It could have taken hours to bypass security codes. "Not very secure for a smart guy." She noted more to herself than anyone else.

Van Pelt was very good with technology and it didn't take her long to get into his email account. "Look at this. He only has four messages in his inbox and they're all from the same sender, someone named RedRose779."

"What do they say?" Jane inquired.

Van Pelt read the oldest message first. "I know you are having financial issues, I have an arrangement that will help you." Van Pelt stopped reading and quickly clicked on the history tab at that top of the screen. "Seems he has a gambling problem," she noted the numerous gaming sites. Most of them were for sports betting but there were a few online casinos listed as well.

"What about the other emails." Cho wasn't sure if any of this was related to Lisbon and was becoming more than a little frustrated.

"Fifteen thousand for 10 vials of TSX," Van Pelt read the next email. "He must have agreed. The third email says, 'will contact with drop location.'" The team was praying the final email would have the location. It was the only lead they had.

"1812 River View Drive, leave now." She read the final message.

"That road runs along an old industrial complex not too far from here. Let's go." Cho instructed.

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Lisbon's head was pounding and her stomach nauseated. It was enough to cause the pain from her injuries to fade into the background. This would be the case if she were fully conscious again. Instead she found herself half awake in that same nightmarish state she had been in before. Her vision was severally reduced and she had completely forgotten about the scalpel she had hid in her pocket. It was probably better she didn't remember anyway as it would have only served as a cruel joke since her arms were once again secured above her head.

"Teresa, it's me, Patrick." A nasty voice cut through what little consciousness she had.

"Jane?" She struggled

"That's right and you've been a very good girl, behaved just like I knew you would."

"What?" Lisbon choked out.

"Don't worry about it,. I don't expect you to understand. You're worthless and weak. I hate you and always have, and to show you how much I hate you, I'm going to kill you." He sneered.

Though her brain was being bombarded with toxins Lisbon still felt her heart break at the first half of his statement and the flood of abject terror that flooded her being after the last portion. Her emotions were quickly silenced with a horribly sharp pain in her side. She had been stabbed. Immediately after, she felt a prick in her arm and darkness once again enveloped her.

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The CBI SUV pulled into the parking lot of the building indicated in the email.

"Look," Rigsby pointed. "Saunders' car."

The team jumped out of the vehicle, weapons drawn. "Keep your eyes open. We don't know what kind of situation we're walking into." Cho cautioned as the team split up to check the perimeter of the premises.

Within five minutes, the exterior had been checked. There was nothing suspicious and only one door appeared to have been in use recently. The others, an emergency exit and two doors located at the rear of the building, had large pad locks on them.

Rigsby approached the door first. He cautiously nudged it open and moved inside. The three agents moved slowly with their weapons drawn, searching for any clues. Of course Jane had wandered off, oblivious to any potential dangers. The entire team had one thing on their collective mind, finding Lisbon. Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt insisted on following protocol to achieve their goal while Jane had no interest. Perhaps it was his indifference to danger since losing his family or the confidence he had in his own abilities but Jane rarely worried about risks to his own well being.

"Over here!" Van Pelt called out. "I think we found Dr. Saunders." They gathered around a severely mutilated body. The face was the only thing recognizable of the medium sized decomposing remains. It appeared that Saunders had been dead for some time. As they looked around the body, they couldn't fight a sinking feeling in the pit of their stomachs. Saunders was going to be a key to find Lisbon but now they were back at square one.

"We should look around for any evidence, anything that could help us." Cho instructed.

The three agents began a thorough sweep of the area. They had come across numerous pieces of what can only be described as industrial junk, nothing that would be helpful. Then there it was, a table covered in various surgical implements and a small voice recorder. Jane picked it up and played the recording, not allowing himself to consider the uses of the tools.

"No, please, no! Please no more." Lisbon's voice cried out in terror. The sound sent knives through the consultant's heart. Lisbon was his friend, his best friend, even if she didn't know it. If it hadn't been for her, his life would still be a wreck. It was her friendship that allowed him to put much of his pain in the past. It hurt him beyond words to know that she had obviously been tortured.

Everyone stood motionless in silence, processing what they had just heard.

"What was that?" Jane looked to his colleagues.

"What was what?" Cho asked only to be cut off by Jane shushing him.

There it was again, a slight whimpering. It was coming from behind a door not too far from the table. Without thinking Jane threw the recorder on the table and made a run for it. His friends called behind him, warning him to stop. There it was again, that lack of interest in self preservation. This time however it was crystal clear that it had nothing to do with losing his family, or his own skills. It had everything to do with Lisbon being in trouble and Jane needing to find her.

Without thinking he burst through the door. When he saw the sight before him, Jane's heart completely stopped. Lisbon sat in front of him. Her hands were chained together above her head and above that was the one sight more chilling than her current state. There it was taunting him, causing his stomach to churn and anger to rise up like and erupting volcano. It was a sign Jane never wanted to see again, a red smiley face. Looking Lisbon over again, it was apparent that the signature was drawn in her blood. If Jane and the rest of the team could take consolation in anything, it was that she was left alive.

Rigsby was on the phone immediately, calling for an ambulance. Jane approached her before anyone else could react. He could see she was semi-conscious but it appeared that she had been drugged and injured. Attached to Lisbon's shirt was a small hand written note.

"I destroyed your family, and now I have stolen your dearest friendship.

Stop hunting me or I will not stop hunting you."

The letter was signed with the simple smiley that caused terror in some many victims and law enforcement agents.

"Lisbon," Jane gently whispered as he cradled her head. "Look at me Teresa. Open your eyes." He coaxed.

Lisbon's eyes slowly opened, her vision clouded from drugs. "No more, please no." She whispered as she began to fight against the restraints.

"It's ok, you're safe now, and we're going to get you out of here." He promised. "I need you to calm down and stay still." He was worried about her internal injuries and wanted to keep her as still as possible until he managed to pick the locks and the ambulance had arrived.

"Oh God no!" She cried out as she thrashed around more violently.

"Teresa," Jane was a little more forceful this time. "Listen to me; I want you to just breathe. Just focus on your breathing…..in and out…..in and out…" He was momentarily successful. Lisbon stilled long enough for him to free her from the chains.

The ambulance arrived within minutes to transport Lisbon to the nearest hospital.


	8. Waking Up

**A/N: Thank you everyone for your continued support and comments. It means a lot to me and I am so happy everyone is enjoying :) The dark stuff is over (for the most part) bring on the fluff and angst :)**

Rigsby, Cho, Van Pelt, and Jane sat silently in the hospital's waiting room. The soft cream colored walls and light blue upholstery, all designed to provide a calming atmosphere no doubt, couldn't erase the worried expression written across all of their faces. Jane was particularly disturbed. He had faith in the doctors' abilities to heal Lisbon's injuries but he was unnerved by the note found with her. It had been sent to forensics immediately for testing. Jane didn't need to have it though to vividly remember the message. Red John didn't make mistakes, it was not lucky they found Lisbon alive. It was what he wanted and that alarmed Jane. Why was she spared? What did he mean by "stealing his dearest friendship"? He couldn't make the answers magically appear but he could make a promise to himself and to Lisbon that this would never again happen and no matter how long it took, he would see to it that she completely recovered from this.

"Agent Cho?" The team was brought out of their thoughts by the voice of a man who looked too young to be donning a white lab coat.

"I'm Dr. Gupta, Agent Lisbon's physician." He introduced himself.

"How is she?" Jane asked before anyone else could respond.

"She's stable and sleeping now. Her injuries suggest prolonged torture but fortunately none were life threatening." The doctor detected a collective sigh of relief. "I am concerned however about her tox-screen results. We found an unknown drug in her system. We are currently flushing it out but we don't know if there will be any long term health implications."

"When can we see her?" Van Pelt inquired.

"I don't want to wake her so you can go in one at a time if you're quite."

"Thank you doctor," Cho shook his hand.

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Jane was the last to enter Lisbon's room. He was immediately taken aback by her injuries. Her face was swollen and bruised in shades of black and purple. Her arms were covered with bandages with an I.V. sticking out of the inside of her right elbo. Jane's heart sank; he never thought he would see Lisbon in such a state. Even though he knew she wasn't invincible, she always carried herself like she was. She never showed any fear when tackling a fleeing suspect or staring down a cold blooded killer. She was always in control and strong. It was very easy for her team to buy into the illusion that she was untouchable. Yet here she was broken and lying in a hospital bed. The sight of her made Jane's resolve even stronger. He would never see her suffer like this again.

Even though medicated, Lisbon's sleep was less than peaceful. Her swollen body twitched as a slight whimper escaped her lips. It was apparent to Jane that she was having a nightmare.

"Hey, it's alright, you're safe now," He gently comforted, holding her hand. To his dismay, her nightmare was obviously continuing. There was nothing he could do now but wait. He hoped that somewhere in the mind of the unconscious Lisbon, she knew he was there, keeping watch over her.

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Jane watched over Lisbon for the better part of three days. She spent the entire time in a drug induced slumber while he spent the time pacing and worrying. When he first started at the CBI he never imagined he would form such close relationships with everyone on the team, especially Lisbon. She played by the rules all of the time, she had too. Jane was never completely sure if she had to because it was her job or if it was her own emotional defense but he had his suspicions. She took a completely opposite approach cases. While his plans and ideas, although usually successful and right, were a little crazy, her's were down to earth and practical. She provided him the grounding he often needed. She was so special to him. She would never believe it but her stability was the main reason he was able to truly move forward with his life. She showed him that there was still a life to be lived.

It wasn't until the fourth day, when Jane had gone home for a few hours to pick up some things that Lisbon woke.

"Hey there," Rigsby smiled as she opened her eyes. He had offered to sit with her while Jane was gone.

"Hey," she croaked.

"How are you feeling?" Concern etched on his face.

"Like hell," she brought a hand up to her head.

Before Rigsby could respond, a team of doctors and nurses burst through the door to check in on her.

"Rigsby?" She stopped his exit.

"Yeah boss?"

"Do me a favor. No more visitors."

"Sure thing."

Within minutes of Rigsby's departure from Lisbon's room, Jane had reappeared with a brown paper bag.

"Sorry man, she's awake but doesn't want any visitors." Rigsby stopped Jane just out side of her door.

Jane simple fixed him with a mixed expression that said, "you're really going to stop me? But I thought we were friends." Rigsby immediately got the message and he stepped aside. Sure he had a healthy respect for his boss' wishes but Jane was a good friend and he obviously cared deeply for Lisbon. Besides that, Rigsby knew that no matter how much of a fight he put up, Jane would still find a way in.

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"Good morning Teresa," Jane beamed as he entered her room. He couldn't help but show his relief at the sight of her being awake and some what better.

"Jane," She was startled to see him, she thought she had made it clear to Rigsby that she didn't want to see anyone, especially him; well to be fair, she didn't mention the last part to him. She didn't want anyone to see her in such a weakened state and she didn't know why but she wasn't sure she could tolerate being around Jane.

"Please, I need some time to myself." She tried to gently get rid of him. She wasn't aware of her reasons but she felt the need to be alone.

"Why?" His voice was soft as he set down the bag and pulled out a small bouquet of flowers.

"Jane, please." She didn't know it but he could easily read her body language and it sent a dagger though his heart. He wasn't even sure if she was aware of her emotion but she was obviously afraid. He assumed that it was a reaction to her trauma and she would need some time.

Despite her wish, he wasn't going to leave her just yet. "Teresa," he took a hold of her hand, making comforting circles with his thumb against her skin. "You're going to get through this; I'll be here for you.'

His contact was too close and Lisbon couldn't take it. As he spoke she felt ripples of nausea rip through her body. She couldn't help it. She pulled away, turning her back to him.

"Lisbon?" He rested his hand on her upper arm.

"Please just leave." Her mind although finally fully alert for the first time in days, was now clouded by a mixture of conflicting emotions. She cared for Jane deeply; even though she has never been able to figure out what that truly meant. On top of those familiar feelings though, was intense fear and hurt. She couldn't remember what had happened over the last few days but she was sure that Jane did everything he could to save her. So then, why was she feeling this way? She needed time to sort things out, she needed him gone.

Jane withdrew his touch and walked toward the door. "I mean it Lisbon, I'll be here." He paused in the door way.

A small tear escaped her eyes as she heard him finally leave. She knew she must have hurt him by not wanting his company. That guilt was just another emotion piled on top of the confusing mountain of other thoughts and feelings. She needed to get her head straight and she was going to do it quickly and on her own terms.


	9. Fear

**A/N: Thank you as always to my reviewers and readers. Special shout out to Ebony, Mr Six, and Divinia. If I missed some other people, which I think I have, I'll get you next time :) This chapter is a little shorter than the others. It's kind of an in-between type thing. Enjoy **

Fortunately there was no permanent damage and the hospital would be releasing Lisbon within a few days. She had spent the time bored out of her mind. She had asked Cho to bring over some case files that needed to be signed off on. The file she specifically asked for was the one pertaining to her case. She didn't need to see it, Minelli was going to take care of it but Lisbon felt that she needed to read it for her own sanity. She needed to know what had happened. She hated being left in the dark about anything, especially something related to her. Cho had expressed his concern and tried his best to persuade her to let the rest of the team take care of wrapping up the case but she ordered him. Despite his better judgment, Cho went and retrieved the file.

Lisbon sat for about ten minutes with the manila folder resting on her lap. She fought with herself as to whether she actually wanted to look. Eventually her stubborn side won out and she began leafing through the pages and pictures.

She had learned about the experimental drugs, the dead chemist's gambling debt, the nature of her injuries, and then as if she hadn't read enough, the note from Red John. Her stomach sank and she rushed to the bathroom on the verge of vomiting.

When she finally reentered the room, Jane was sitting in a chair beside the bed holding the case file.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, sadness etched on his face. He had hoped she would never see the pictures, read the descriptions, and most of all learn of Red John's involvement. That was a burden she did not deserve.

"I'm fine," she fidgeted, refusing to make eye contact or move closer.

"You're not," he answered, not missing a beat.

"I really am Jane, can you please leave," her response surprised even her. She didn't want to be hurtful but she just couldn't be around him right now. She didn't know why but when he was around it was like the room shrunk and she was trapped.

He approached her, dipping his head so they made eye contact, "alright, but when you're ready I'll be here."

She tried to keep her expression calm. He was way too close and she felt the need to fight or escape rise. "Please Jane." It took every once of strength not to run. She prayed he didn't notice her reaction but she knew deep inside that he was way too talented and she probably didn't hide her emotions very well. The last thing she needed right now though was to be interrogated by Mr. Patrick Jane. She had always handled things on her own and this would be no different. She wasn't sure why she felt the need to be as far away from him as possible but she did know she hated feeling that way and she was going to have to get over it soon. He was a valued member of her team and a friend. She didn't want to put him through anything else because of Red John and she didn't want the rest of the team to notice her reactions. She was always calm and cool and she would be again. She had to be, she was Teresa Lisbon.

"Well kicked out twice so far," Jane mused to him self. He knew something was wrong and he understood Lisbon well enough to know that she would push through life as if there wasn't a problem. She would pretend everything was fine when around those who cared about her and could help, but it would catch up to her. She would find herself alone forced to confront her feelings without a friend to lend an ear or a comforting caress. She wouldn't allow anyone to get close enough to hold her when sadness and fear will fill her or to help her through her anger. He knew she would go through all of this and she would insist upon doing it alone. Under other circumstances he would wager that she would stoically push through it and practically beat what ever was bothering her into submission. This time he wasn't so sure she could do it on her own. He could see it in her eyes. There was fear and distrust there. In all of the time they had known each other, he had never seen that kind of emotion run across her face. What he found even more alarming was that he had seen her interact with other team members and that expression wasn't there. He would be lying to himself if he didn't acknowledge the little pang it caused him to know that he was obviously eliciting such a reaction. He had to find out why she was reacting that way so that he could discover a way to help her, even if she didn't want it.


	10. Decisions

**A/N: Thank you Ebony10, NarutoTwilightFan4Ever, Nr Six, Kathiann, Foghornleghorn83, Divinia Serit, mbleiva24, Bakerlover, Sexycindi, Maliang, the Visionary Poet, Vinnie K, and everyone else for reading and reviewing :)**

It was not long before Lisbon managed to get herself discharged from the hospital and on her way home. She had managed to keep the team away during her recovery at home by lying about some family member staying with her. She needed her space and even though it meant returning home, a place she no longer felt safe, alone; she would rather do that then be in the suffocating presence of Jane. She knew it would take time but she was certain she could come to grips with what happened on her own terms.

For now though she would stay in her apartment, terrified of what might happen. She had her locks changed a few extra added to her doors in an attempt to feel more secure but ultimately she didn't feel safe any more. She spent most nights sleepless with every light in her home turned on. On some level she now truly understood how Jane must feel all of the time.

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The day had finally come for Lisbon to return to work. She was uneasy with going back and being around everyone but she also knew herself well and hoped the work would take her mind off of everything. She hadn't dealt with things well on her own at home. Maybe diving into work full force would distract her enough that things would just work out on their own. Of course being back to work was going to present its own set of issues. She couldn't stand any type of pity or special consideration that she knew she would receive from Van Pelt and Rigsby. Then there was Jane, she had to find a way to keep her distance with it out being noticed. "Thank God for Cho," she thought on her way to her office. He didn't get too involved in other agents personal life and he wouldn't over react about her return. He would probable be the best person to work with for the time being.

"Hey Boss, how you doing?" Rigsby was the first to catch her before she was able to make it to the relative safety of her office.

"Good, thanks." She smiled and made eye contact, hoping her lie was believable.

"Welcome back," Cho put down his cup of coffee and smiled from behind his desk.

"Good to have you back," Van Pelt smiled kindly.

"Thanks everyone," Lisbon quickly moved toward her office. If she was just quick enough, maybe Jane won't find her yet.

"Good morning," came the brilliant smile from the blond man lounging in her office.

"Damn," she sighed to herself. "So much for that plan."

"How are you?" Jane stood up invading Lisbon's personal space.

"Fine thanks." She tried her best to look him in the eyes.

"You really shouldn't lie Lisbon. You're not any good at it." Jane's smile reappeared.

"Seriously I'm fine. I wish everyone would stop asking." The words came out a lot angrier than expect.

"We are asking because we care about you." Jane's tone was infinitely gentle, revealing the depths of his feelings.

Lisbon couldn't take it. She had to get away. The kindness in his voice was making her feel ill and she had no idea why. Acting on instinct, as she often did, she tried to brush by him and make it to the bullpen. She was stopped in her tracks by a hand on her arm.

"You're going to have to stop running." Jane whispered.

She didn't wait around long enough to hear anything else he had to say. To her relief, as she exited her office, Cho approached.

"Got a case boss," he informed her.

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After reviewing the file Lisbon divided the team up sending Rigsby and Jane off to interview a witness, Van Pelt stayed to review some banking discrepancies, and she and Cho visited the crime scene.

The investigation that day went as well as could be hoped. Lisbon managed to avoid Jane while getting the case close to closed and not being obvious. She knew avoidance wasn't going to be the ultimate answer to her problems but she needed some time.

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Lisbon left for the evening earlier than usual, which in reality was the actual time her day was supposed to end. She wasn't looking forward to going home but she needed to leave before Jane got too close again and she didn't have anywhere else to go.

Her evening routine hadn't changed significantly since her abduction. She still came home, cooked dinner, and watched television. The only differences now were the attention she paid to her locks and the fact that she would not be going to sleep tonight. Logically she knew it was ridiculous but on a deeper level she had a terrible feeling that something bad would happen if she slept. She also rationalized that staying awake was a good way to avoid any possible nightmares.

After changing from her work clothes Lisbon prepared dinner. Tonight's menu was pasta in white sauce and a pre-made salad from the grocery store. She now was actually looking forward to the quiet of an evening at home. Well, more accurately, she was looking forward to not having to be on her guard. She didn't have to worry about any of her friends noticing any of her new behaviors, especially the whole avoiding Jane thing. She was certain that he knew, he probably could tell she hadn't slept in days too. She was grateful though that he chose not to press the issue too much with her thus far.

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Across town Jane was snacking on some popcorn while stretched out on his CBI couch. He had a lot to think about and the office was just the place to do it. He unconsciously glanced over in the direction of Lisbon's office. He had to talk to her. Something was wrong and He knew she wouldn't open up to anyone about it. He was concerned for both her well being and for the rest of team. He knew the lack of sleep and her responses to him could put the team in danger or even worse, she could make a mistake that would cost her this job. He refused to let that happen.

In the hospital he had been somewhat hurt by her reactions to him. It felt eerily similar to when she admitted she didn't trust him. Since then though he realized that this had to be connected to what had happened to her. He wasn't entirely certain Lisbon knew why she was reacting the way she was but he was certain it was linked to Red John. He was now starting to understand what the note meant. Jane found it some what shocking that Red John was able to have this type of effect. His newly acquired knowledge of pharmaceuticals and human manipulation definitely changes his profile.

The more he thought about the situation the more determined he became. Red John thought he could really ruin Jane and Lisbon's relationship by using some drugs and brain washing. He really did underestimate Jane.

This situation had to be remedied and tomorrow would be just as good of a time as any. There wasn't much left to finish with the case. Once it was closed he would approach her. He needed to talk to her without her brushing him off and running away even if it meant a confrontation of sorts. He was going to get her to open up to him one way or another. It was the only way to help her through this and get everything back to normal again.


	11. To Trust Again

**A/N: Thank you as always to all of my readers and reviewers. This chapter is way long, I think the longest chapter I've ever written. I hope you enjoy :D**

Another sleepless night for Lisbon meant an early morning in the office. By about 4:30 Friday morning she had grown agitated and edgy so she quickly showered, got dressed, and ate before she left for the day. She was in the office and doing work by 6:30. Maybe if she got on top of the paper work she could be out at a decent time again. As soon as that thought entered her mind she quickly remembered that there really was no point in going home early. It wasn't like she had any plans; she would just start the same vicious cycle again. Perhaps she would work late tonight and lessen the amount of time at home.

She moved quickly through the dark office not noticing Jane "sleeping" on the couch. She knew that sometimes he stayed there but it hadn't occurred to her that he might be there now or that he might not be asleep if he was. Jane was there and very much awake. He was a light sleeper as it was and he had fallen asleep relatively early so he was up before she had appeared. Hearing her approach the bullpen he feigned sleep so he could observe her. That was something he enjoyed doing regardless of the situation. He found her utterly fascinating. Her personality and reactions while usually predictable were interesting nonetheless.

Through the thin slits of his mostly closed eyes, Jane watched her move across the bullpen into her office. She had turned on her desk lamp to fight off the darkness of the still dim morning and sat down to start on the mountain of paper work. Even from a distance he could see she was upset. Her movements were jerky and it looked more to him like she was just trying to keep her self busy as opposed to actually getting work done. He could also see the tiredness in her posture and the sadness on her face. He wondered if she had even tried to heal emotionally or if she just pushed through life hoping the pain would dissipate on its own.

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The rest of the day had dragged on uneventfully. As expected the case was easily closed before lunch. It turned out it was the ex-wife who had done it. Jane had suspected it and the confession was elicited during Cho's interrogation. Jane had planned on confronting Lisbon after lunch but decided against it. She had spent most of the afternoon in her office and he thought that if he stood any chance of getting her to open up to him, it was going to have to be when no one else was around. While she may possibly talk to Jane, if he approached her in the right way, she most certainly was not going to divulge anything that would bring out her emotions when the rest of the team was around. She prided her self on being a strong stable leader in the eyes of her agents. He knew that she would label any show of emotion as a weakness and that would not be revealed to her coworkers, even if they were also her friends. Her and Jane had always shared a particularly close relationship and he was hoping that it would work in his favor. Sitting on the couch watching everyone wrap up for the day, Jane decided he would approach her either after everyone else had left or if she left first he would pay her a visit at home.

Jane wouldn't have to make the twenty minute drive across town; Lisbon was still in her office long after the rest of the team had gone home for the night. This was his opportunity. He knew it was going to take every ounce of his talent to get passed the "kicking out of the room" stage. He wasn't worried though. Patrick Jane knew that they both would get through this so with a smile he knocked on Lisbon's door.

"Yeah!" She startled. She thought everyone had left.

"Hi Lisbon," he still smiled taking a seat across from her.

"What do you want Jane? I still have a ton of work to get through." He could detect a slight hint of unease in her voice.

"I wanted to really see how you're doing," his smile faded as he fixed his intense gaze on her.

"I told you earlier, I'm fine!" Once again her tone was angrier than expected.

"I don't think you are. Let me help you."

"I don't need your help, now if you'll excuse me," She stood up ready to leave.

"Yes you do. You were attacked by Red John, Lisbon. That is a horrific experience. It would leave anyone shaken. Please stop running from me." The weight of Jane's emotions filled his voice and eyes.

"What are you talking about? I haven't been running from anyone." Lisbon tried to laugh off the accusation. She couldn't even address let alone think about the first part of his statement. To acknowledge it would be to accept that Red John had indeed been responsible and that was a horrible prospect.

Jane wasn't going to relent this time though. He moved behind the desk, getting as close to Lisbon as possible. He knew he would have to push her to get her to see what she's been doing. Just as he expected, the fear response flooded Lisbon, visible in her posture. As he moved closer she took a defensive stance ready to bolt at any moment.

"Teresa, look at me. You're tense, you're eyes are darting side to side, and you look like you're either going to punch me or jump over the desk. You can't hide your emotions from me."

"Oh I forgot because you're 'psychic'" she made quotes with her fingers as anger laced her tone.

"No, because I'm your friend," his voice was so gentle it contrasted with Lisbon's like night and day. In fact it caused Lisbon to pause. It had struck something in her. Something she hadn't felt since her abduction. It was intangible warmth. It lasted only for a split second and as soon as it came it was gone again. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Jane though. He took this as a positive sign.

"You can't stand to be in my presence and I think I know why." He continued.

"Really Jane, nothing is wrong, you're just being paranoid." She tried a different approach to get him out of her office.

"Then tell me why when I do this," he grabbed her wrist. "Your pulse sky rockets, your breathing quickens and you start to fidget." He noted each as they occurred in her. "Either my stunning good looks have you all hot and bothered," he smiled brightly. "Or you're scared."

"I'm not." Lisbon tried unsuccessfully to extradite her wrist.

"Look at yourself Teresa, you're terrified." He reached up to brush a renegade strand of hair from her face. She immediately flinched at the contact. "You can't go on like this. We have to work with each other and more importantly we need our friendship back. Please don't shut me out." His plea was barely above a whisper and the intimacy of the moment brought back that same warm feeling she had felt a few moments ago.

"You can trust me," he softly reassured her. She stood motionless, caught between two emotions that were so opposite from one and other that she couldn't move. Jane could see the internal battle written across her face so he made the decision for her. Still holding her wrist he slowly guided her out to the couch.

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"What do you remember about what happened?" Jane pulled up a chair so he could easily face Lisbon. He couldn't help but notice that she was exhibiting so many of the same mannerism as the victims they interview. She was so tense that her body looked tiny against the couch.

"Not a whole lot. I get flashes, images but nothing I can really make sense of"

"That makes sense, besides the trauma of the experience, you were heavily drugged. I think that may be also why you're afraid of me." He was glad that despite her obvious discomfort she was willing to talk.

"Jane, I'm not afraid of you." She sighed. Lisbon hated how the words sounded from Jane's lips even if it was true.

"It's alright." He tried to assure her. "The drug you were poisoned with not only causes memory loss. It also makes you hallucinate and causes you to be highly suggestible."

"What are you talking about?" Lisbon would have found this interesting if she wasn't the one involved.

"I believe Red John used the drugs to make you think he was me."

"What?" She was in shock and disbelief.

"It's the only way to explain your reactions and the note that was left behind."

"Why would he do that, it makes no sense. He could have just killed me." No matter what may be going on internally with Lisbon, she couldn't stop being a cop.

"Red John is sadistic. He thought it would cause me more suffering to see you alive but not well, which of course he was right but he obviously had no idea who he was dealing with."

"So to get at you, he attached me and brainwashed me with drugs to make me think he was you." She was in disbelief as she recapped the whole situation.

"Yes. That's why you're feeling anxious right now even though we're in a non threatening situation. I can help you through this, if you let me." He reached out to place a comforting hand on top of hers. She tried very hard not to flinch at the contact.

"How?" She tried to steady her voice.

"The first step is to get you comfortable around me again."

"God, you make it sound so bad." She was feeling a little self conscious.

"It's nothing that can't be undone my dear Lisbon." Jane smiled. "Behaviors are learned and can just as easily be unlearned. We just have to train your unconscious to not perceive me as a threat."

"How are we going to do that?" Lisbon was skeptical.

"With relative ease, close your eyes." Jane instructed.

"You're not going to hypnotize me." She looked at him with that same look she gave him every time she caught him doing it with one of their witnesses or suspects.

"No hypnosis, I promise. And why are you so against it anyone." He laughed.

"Because it's.."

"Unprofessional, I know," he finished her sentence. "Now come on just close your eyes…Please." He pleaded like a boy asking his mom for a cupcake before dinner.

She never could resist him when he asked for things in that way, "alright."

"Good. Now pay attention to your breathing. Breathe in and count to five in your head and breathe out counting to seven." His voice was soft and friendly. "Breathe in, 1,2,3,4,5 and out 1,2,3,4,5,6,7" He guided her repeating the process for a few moments. "In, 1,2,3,4,5 and out, 1,2,3,4,5,6, and 7" The simple process of breathing in this way had begun to relax her. The tight little ball of stress in a stylish work suit that was Lisbon now softened and allowed her full frame to sink into the couch. Jane smiled to himself, glad she allowed herself to go this far. Not that she had a whole lot of conscious choice. That type of breathing triggers a natural relaxation response but she didn't need to know that.

"Now imagine your most favorite place in the world. Where are you the happiest? How does that place sound? What does it look like? What kind of scents are there? Imagine it as clearly as you can…. Good, just keep breathing." Her facial expressions smoothed out now too and Jane mused to himself that this must be the first time he'd seen her comfortable since the abduction.

"Now Teresa," Jane could see her suck in a large amount of air as her shoulders tensed. He quickly realized that her first name must have been used by Red John. "It's ok, remember to breathe in, 1,2,3,4,5 and out, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. You're in your special place where nothing bad can happen. You're safe there. When you hear your name again just remember to breathe and count." He could see her breathing pattern so he wait until she was ready to breathe out again. "Teresa" He did this two more times, anchoring her name with the out breath making it very difficult for her to have the same physiological reaction to her name as she had previously.

"How do you feel? Calm, comfortable?" He very sneakily tagged on the suggestion at the end of the question.

"Comfortable." She honestly answered.

"Very good, now I'm going to pick up you hand. Keep breathing and counting." He gingerly lifted her hand and arm, sure to time it with her out breath once again. He noticed her breathing pick up again. "Slow breaths remember," he encouraged.

Once she seemed comfortable with that contact he moved off of his chair and sat next to her. "You're doing really well. I want you to keep relaxing." He reached up again crossing in front of her to cup her right cheek. He knew that the touch would cause her to respond especially since she had some nasty facial injuries.

He was right, her pulse jumped up again and her breathing became erratic. "Jane, I can't do this, I want to stop." Panic filled Lisbon's voice.

"Hush. You're alright. Take another deep breath." He coached. "Tell me about that special place. Where are you?"

"I'm at my grandmother's house in the country."

"What does it smell like?"

"Citrus blossoms, it's spring."

"What do you see?"

"Green trees and wild flowers"

"What can you hear?" He noticed her breathing was steadying and her pulse began to slow.

"The breeze moving through the trees and birds."

"What does this place feel like?"

"I can feel the warm sun."

"You have a lot of happy memories there." It was more of an observation then question.

"Yes, I spent my summers here. It's where I learned how to ride horses"

"That's very nice." He smiled and he continued to touch various parts of her arms and face. He was very pleased to see that her physiological responses were back to normal.

"Teresa, open your eyes." He greeted her with a brilliant smile, his hand tenderly holding hers. She was amazed that it had worked. Of course she wouldn't admit it to him but she was truly impressed and relieved.

"See I told you it could be unlearned." Jane smiled triumphantly.

"Thank you." Jane knew it was very difficult for Lisbon to utter those words considering everything that had happened and he greatly appreciated it.

"You're welcome. We still have a lot to talk about but that can wait till tomorrow, what do you say we raid the fridge for some dinner."

"Sounds good."

The pair quickly retreated to the kitchen. "You know Rigsby's going to kill us when he gets in on Monday." Lisbon laughed mischievously as she removed a couple of take out boxes from the refrigerator"

"Nah, he'll manage to find something else to eat. The guy has a magic power that allows him to produce food from thin air. Really I think he could give my act a run for its money."

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Lisbon and Jane shared a quiet meal chatting about everything but what had happened to her. Jane knew she would have to deal with it in the coming days but for now they had accomplished enough.

"Are you going home?" He knew the answer but was compelled to ask anyway.

"No I have some work to do," she glanced down at lap, "and I'm not really comfortable there."

"If you're going to stay here, you're going to get some sleep." He insisted.

"I don't need to sleep." She could feel that old sense of fear rise in her stomach again.

"Yes you do, you're exhausted. When was the last time you slept?" He tilted her chin up so they made eye contact.

"Last night." She was defiant to the end.

"You're lying again." He couldn't help but smile. She would deny the sky was blue if Jane had said it was. "Come on it will be good for you." He turned out the lights and pulled out a blanket he hidden away somewhere.

"Lay here with me." He sprawled out on the couch.

"Jane." Lisbon still had a fear of falling asleep after what had happened when she feel asleep in her tub. Even if she did manage to fall asleep, she wasn't about to have a nightmare while in the company of someone she just learned to feel comfortable with again.

"Fine you don't have to sleep, just lay here and relax for a little while." Lisbon missed the knowing smile on Jane's face.

"Alright, but only for a little bit," she sighed and lay down next to him resting her head on his left shoulder. He wrapped that arm around her pulling her closer. Lisbon would never admit it to him but laying like this made her feel safe. It was as if all her negative reactions to him had never happened. Things were back to how they should be.

"You know when I was little I used to love looking up at the night sky. All of those stars against the black sky held my attention for hours." Jane casually noted.

"Really, I never pegged you as a star gazer."

"Oh on the contrary, I knew all of the constellations. That wasn't my favorite part of it though. On warm summer nights I would sit on my back porch. Our house sat right on a river which was awful when it flooded but on those warm nights the water reflected the hazy moon and the sound of slowly lapping water and crickets lulled me into a pensive mood." Lisbon couldn't help but relax as she pictured what Jane was describing. It sounded wonderful.

He could feel her loosen up and her breathing deepen. "I would sit on that porch and look up at the night sky. It appeared to go on forever. I don't know why but it made me feel comfortable…relaxed…content." He timed those words once again with her out breaths. "It felt like I was being held…completely protected… safe. Before I knew it, my thoughts would slow and the only things I noticed were the peaceful sounds of my breathing and the water."

For a brief moment the thought had occurred to Lisbon that Jane was hypnotizing her but the thought drifted away as Jane continued talking. Lisbon found her self far more interested in his story than her own internal dialogue.

"I would keep looking up at those stars allowing those feelings to wash over me." His voice was exceedingly slow and soft matching Lisbon's internal experience. "Eventually my eyes would want to close." She didn't realize it but he was closely watching her waiting for her to respond. "They would get so heavy that I found it easier and more comfortable just to let them close." He watched as her eyes drifted shut. "That's right, just drifting….feeling safe…allowing yourself to sleep now."

Jane smiled to him self as he watched her fall into a deep sleep. She was going to kill him if she remembered this in the morning. Her reaction would be priceless. Maybe he should find a camera just to document the looks she was going give him right before the lecture. Until then though, he needed to get some sleep too. He knew there was still a lot more work to do but things were looking far more promising and he was now completely sure that he would beat Red John at his own game and far more importantly Lisbon would be back to her old self again soon. He couldn't be more pleased with how things had gone tonight and he was relieved that despite what she had said that day they did the trust fall, somewhere deep inside of her she did trust him. She would have never let anyone see her as vulnerable as she was tonight and yet she allowed him. He was flooded with emotions and hoped they could keep this close of a relationship. That would have to wait though, he needed sleep. Lisbon wouldn't ever know but the events of the evening had been draining for Jane. It had hurt him beyond words to see her react to him like she had. That was over now though.

"Good night," he whispered placing a light kiss on her temple before closing his eyes and drifting off too.


	12. Good Morning

**A/N: Thank you so much everyone for the reviews :) i do appreciate them. Here is the next chapter. enjoy :D **

For the first time in days, Lisbon slept the entire night. During those hours Jane couldn't help but cherish how she felt wrapped up in his arms. He would never tell her but she brought him as much comfort and safety as he had brought her.

"What time is it?" Lisbon mumbled while she stretched.

"Ten," Jane was sitting at Van Pelt's desk when she opened her eyes. He had woken up much earlier but knew she needed the rest so he decided it would be fun to learn more about their friend Grace by examining her work area. Well, that's what he had told himself. He had actually spent most of the morning just watching Lisbon sleep.

"Ten!" Lisbon bolted up still trying fight off the remnants of sleep.

"Relax, it's Saturday," He knew her first thought would be about the team coming in and seeing her passed out on the couch.

"How long was I out for?"

"About twelve hours."

"Jane?" A concerned look crossed her face as memories from the night before came flooding back.

"Lisbon?" A bright smile crossed his face.

"Jane!" This time her words were tinged with uncertainty. "What happened last night?"

"What do you mean? We talked for a little bit and fell asleep. You don't remember?"

"No, I don't" A curious expression crossed her face as she got up and walked toward Jane.

"What do you remember?" He knew he should probably let it go because it was going to inevitably blow up in his face but he was also too curious for his own good.

"We were on the couch and you were talking about stars…or something."

"Or something?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Something about watching stars when you were a kid..…..No Jane, you didn't!"

"I didn't what?" His innocent grin would fool many people but not her.

"You hypnotized me!"

"No I did not," he couldn't fight the little chuckle that escaped his lips.

"Yes you did!"

"Okay, maybe I may have slightly encouraged you to fall asleep." He wasn't going to let her straight out win.

"Encouraged?" Annoyance laced her voice. "Jane, you can't go around doing that."

"What's making you upset, the fact that I did it or the fact that you for once were not in control?" He knew this would draw a reaction but he couldn't help it. He wasn't at all angry with her responses to him in fact he had counted on it. Sometimes he just couldn't help himself though. He was like the little kid who you tell not to push the big red button so he just have to go and do it.

"I don't need to be in control all of the time."

"So the problem is indeed control." His eyes twinkled with mischief in the late morning sun. "My dear Lisbon, one day you are going to have to get over this control issue." His gaze washed over her, waiting for her face to show the first hint of a reaction. She was awfully cute when she was irritated.

"Seriously Jane, you can't just go around hypnotizing people." She quickly brought the conversation back to the original topic.

"I highly doubt it is illegal or unprofessional when done outside of work." He mimicked her past lectures.

"That's not the point."

"In all seriousness I was just trying to help you fall asleep. Insomnia isn't good for you, trust me." His words struck her. He was obviously speaking from experience and the fact that he cared enough to stay with her through the night was not lost on her.

"Thank you," she relented, sighing and diverting her eyes. She knew he was right and if she was honest with herself; that was what she had wanted to say to him since she had woken up. She didn't know why but there was just something about him that made her always want to disagree. Most of the time it was playful and fun and most of the time she secretly agreed with him. In reality she was grateful for the night's sleep but was not going to tell him that. After all couldn't have the trouble maker running around thinking he can hypnotize people all of the time, especially her.

"You're welcome," he smiled. It wasn't one of his brilliant grins, it was more heart felt.

A pensive expression crossed Lisbon's face. "How did you do it?"

"Oh come now, a magician never reveals his secrets." He laughed.

"Seriously, I've seen you do it before but I don't remember you doing anything special last night." Lisbon was never one to fight off curiosity. It was one of the traits that made her such a good agent.

"I just spoke to you in a way I knew you would listen. Now let's get some breakfast." He knew the answer wasn't going to satisfy her but perhaps food would distract her.

"I will get my answers Mr. Jane" She pointed at him playfully. "But let's get some eggs first."

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"So I thought we could spend the day together." Jane suggested after they had placed their orders at the local diner.

"It's alright, you don't have to, I'm sure you have things to do on your day off. I'll be fine." One part of her loved the idea of spending even more time with him but her so called practical side was putting up a fight. She couldn't risk getting too close, after all they were coworkers and it had probably gone too far the night before already.

"I know you are and I know don't have to. I want to" He didn't really believe she was fine but he didn't want her defenses to go up. "I don't have a whole lot going on and thought we could spend some time together, I'll even make you dinner." He flashed her, his most adorable smile. He knew she wouldn't be able to resist it.

"Alright, I'll take you up on that." She didn't really want to be alone that day and a home cooked meal with a friend sounded wonderful. Besides, she couldn't fight against his gorgeous smile.


End file.
